


we break the dawn

by templeofshame



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Florida, Future, Gay Club, M/M, References to Alcohol, au where nothing notable happens between now and the next time they're in florida
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 15:36:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19337452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/templeofshame/pseuds/templeofshame
Summary: The last time Dan was here without a tour hanging over his head, he wasn’t even watching Drag Race, let alone ready to be spotted in the crowd at a drag show. Tonight, if someone recognizes them, asks for a photo, even takes a creepshot… they can knock themselves out. There’s no limit to how queer Dan and Phil can be in public, not anymore.





	we break the dawn

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for the beta, sarah!

Cornelia wants to go. And she can be weirdly good at getting Dan and Phil to leave the house, so it’s decided. Dan is choosing their outfits—they’re supposed to wear white, and Phil doesn’t know it yet, but he’s getting his guns out for the lads—and then they’re going. 

It’s not that Cornelia isn’t perfectly capable of going to clubs and shows by herself, or just with Martyn. Dan was surprised, at first, by Martyn’s enthusiasm; he doesn’t quite “get” drag, and he knows none of it’s meant for him, but he does love a good club. And he’s tagged along with Cornelia enough to learn that gay people know a thing or two about clubs. Dan and Phil, on the other hand, haven’t tagged along, not yet.

Usually, historically, Cornelia either asks once, just to make it clear they’re welcome, or gives them the look that’s the shortcut to the answer: She knows, they can’t. But tonight, Dan sees a new gleam in her eye, a particular hope. She’s not just asking to be polite. And Nina Flowers and Sasha Velour are performing, shows at 10 and midnight, which makes the whole club thing in between seem more worth it.

They’ve just done this trip so many times at this point—not so many times as Phil and Martyn have, of course, but there’s still a lot of familiarity in the Florida experience for Dan. And this year, some restlessness. Something should be different this time. Not that going to see drag at a gay club has anything to do with Florida, but it’s part of the vacation mentality. The last time Dan was here without a tour hanging over his head, he wasn’t even watching Drag Race, let alone ready to be spotted in the crowd at a drag show. Tonight, if someone recognizes them, asks for a photo, even takes a creepshot… they can knock themselves out. There’s no limit to how queer Dan and Phil can be in public, not anymore. Besides comfort zones, and there’s alcohol and adrenaline to help there.

Dan hears Phil’s footsteps in the hall, but lets him look at the proposed outfit in silence. It’s Phil’s favorite black jeans, but paired with a certain white vest emblazoned with a wavy-haired skeleton. “ _Dan_ ,” Phil says, skeptical.

“What?” Dan doesn’t look up from the options he’s considering for himself; feigning innocence is easier if he doesn’t make eye contact.

“I have actual white shirts, you know. I could be ‘iconic,’ or have red stripes, or match the palm trees...”

Dan pauses, as if considering. “Nope, guns out for the lads.” He holds his Allsaints one up to his body, considering the grey stripes at the sleeves. “Martyn could sell a few, I bet, with you modeling. Tap into a new market.”

Despite the resistance, when Dan looks up, Phil’s slipping the skeleton vest on. And yeah, Dan’s ready for his boyfriend to turn heads in Dan’s own merch. It’s a harmless hint of possessiveness, a way to channel those jealous instincts. Or maybe Dan just wants to see Phil in it for more than a few minutes, and a White Party seems like a good bet. Now, watching Phil, the seeds of a joke about paleness and going to a White Party nag at a corner of Dan’s brain. Not now, for stalker reasons, but after, could he tweet about it? ‘Introverts at a gay club’ has plenty of twitter humor potential and now that ⅔ of that fits his branding...

“I should make _you_ wear _my_ merch,” Phil says. When Dan looks over—to roll his eyes as he gets dressed on his own terms—he can see nerves, but a normal kind for Phil. The nerves come with change, even if it’s just one night and the change is about shedding old worries. ”We’re trying new things,” Phil points out, coming up behind Dan to lean on him while he checks his hair in the mirror. 

Dan laughs and shoves him off, but his fingertips linger on an exposed shoulder. They really are trying new things, aren’t they? Letting down their shared guard, when they remember, when they can. Giving themselves a little more of what they want. (They’re people too, after all.) Dan used to know that with every bold choice, with every step toward his truth, there was a decent chance he’d panic and regret it. Maybe it’ll happen again, in some small way, but he’s not preparing shields and loopholes anymore. Instead he’s grabbing the wallet Phil could easily have forgotten from the bed, because they’re past the point of no return and so, it seems, is Parliament House.

“What level of new things are we talking?” Dan teases. He tries to imagine a tipsy Phil pushing his way through the crowd to put a dollar in a drag queen’s bra, but no. After their whole journey to actually, definitely, decisively “out,” it’s the little things that are new and scary and such a relief. And then there’re the questions: will they dance? Together? Will Dan wait in line for a photo with the queens? Because if he does… they post them on Facebook. But there’s a whole night to figure those out, to see what they even want and how much comfort zones are willing to grow.

“New things like letting Cornelia drive us there on the wrong side of the road,” Phil says, glancing out the window to where she’s just pulled up. She’s eager to show off a bit, putting that license to use when she can. Maybe Dan’s more eager than Phil to show off his own new license not to hide, or just more pumped for Nina and Sasha, but they’ve both got new wings to stretch. Maybe all of them do.

“Starting big there. Life or death new things. And I wasn’t even craving death tonight.”

Phil’s halfway out the door, but turns to meet Dan’s eyes. “Puts it in perspective, a bit. The rest’s just… what we want it to be.”

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on [tumblr](https://templeofshame.tumblr.com/post/185803802535/we-break-the-dawn-1k-g-for-phandomficfests-pride). it keeps life interesting!


End file.
